The Sunday Musician

First, an explanation for not posting last week:  I was busy letting two Avon Ladies smear eggs in my hair, and I had a Christmas concert to prepare for.  That's all over now (well, one more concert to go, but now I'm ready), so onward to....

A little Christmas story. 

 

The Alter of Speech

by Ed Schief

© 2005 Ed Schief

Use by permission only

FADE IN:

 

INTERIOR. TEMPLE INNER SANCTUM – A SMALL, CURTAINED ROOM WITH AN ALTAR IN THE CENTER. ON THE ALTAR RESTS AN INCENSE HOLDER. THE ALTAR IS FOUR FEET HIGH, FIVE FEET WIDE, TWO FEET DEEP, MADE OF STONE. IT IS POSITIONED SLIGHTLY STAGE LEFT, SHORT SIDE FACING THE CAMERA.

 

Enter ZECHARIAH, a very tall man wearing a ceremonial robe and hat and carrying a burning oil lamp. ZECHARIAH pushes a curtain aside and steps into the room, stopping just inside.

 

 

ZECHARIAH:

(letting out a long sigh)

Sixty three years and I finally made it! I almost thought it would never come. Me—big, backward, boondock-boy Zechariah, standing here...here in the temple at Jer-us-a-freeking-lem. WHOO!!

 

 

Realizing the 'WHOO' was a bit much, ZECHARIAH looks up to God and makes a motion with his hand as if to promise he won't do it again. He walks to the altar, puts the oil lamp down on the altar and lights the incense from the lamp. Placing the incense in it's holder, he keeps the incense and holder in his hands and closes his eyes.

 

ZECHARIAH

Please, Lord – don't let me mess this up. No dropping of the incense, no tripping over my big feet. I mean, a priest only gets one chance ever to do this, and I want to make it good, you know? So I just want to go on record as saying that I'm grateful for this opportunity...and that I'm not angry or bitter anymore that Elizabeth and I never had children. I'm sure you had your reasons, and to tell the truth, this kind of makes up for it, being chosen to offer the prayer in the temple. So, anyway, I'm really okay with the whole childless thing.

 

While ZECHARIAH prays, GABRIEL materializes, standing at the end of the altar. GABRIEL is considerably shorter and smaller than ZECHARIAH. He wears a white robe and watches while ZECHARIAH prays.

 

ZECHARIAH

I mean, besides, who am I to tell You what to do...you can do whatever you want, because, well, you know, you're GOD and everything...

 

GABRIEL rolls his eyes at ZECHARIAH'S rambling, finally clearing his throat to get ZECHARIAH'S attention.

 

GABRIEL

Ahem...

 

ZECHARIAH opens his eyes, sees GABRIEL.

 

ZECHARIAH

Yikes!!

 

ZECHARIAH leaps backward, dropping the incense and tripping over his feet, ending up on the floor and losing his hat in the process. Without taking his eyes off GABRIEL, he fishes around on the floor for the incense and holder, burning his hand on the incense.

 

ZECHARIAH

(Blowing on his hand)

Ow. Dang it.

 

ZECHARIAH looks at his hand, then back up to GABRIEL. He walks on his knees to the altar and places the incense and holder back in it's place, keeping his body as far away from GABRIEL as possible. He crawls back and gets his hat, stands up and puts the hat back on. GABRIEL stands impassively, silently. Straightening up and dusting himself off, ZECHARIAH finally finds his voice.

 

ZECHARIAH

What are you doing here? No one is supposed to be in here. You could get in a lot of trouble.

 

GABRIEL

Do not be afraid, Zechariah. Your prayer has been heard.

 

ZECHARIAH

(blustering)

 

Yeah, OVERheard–-by YOU. And it could get you in a lot of trouble, buddy. You really scared me there. Who are you, anyway? You look a little like the guy I buy my chickens from -

 

GABRIEL

(interrupting)

Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John.

 

ZECHARIAH

Okay, I'd appreciate it if you'd leave my wife outta this conversation -

 

GABRIEL

(continuing over ZECHARIAH)

 

He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth.

 

ZECHARIAH

You're one of the guys from the gentile crew we hire to clean up, aren't you? Look, you really shouldn't be in here -

 

GABRIEL

(Fed up with the interruptions)

Will you be quiet? I have a message for you.

 

ZECHARIAH

(Waving his hand)

Oh, well, of course. Please continue.

 

GABRIEL

(with the tiniest of sighs)

 

He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God, and he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah -

 

ZECHARIAH

(interrupting again)

Elijah! That's good. Nice touch -

 

GABRIEL

(Continuing over ZECHARIAH)

- to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.

 

ZECHARIAH

(Waits a beat.)

Is that it?

 

GABRIEL

You're a real yapper, you know that? For Pete's sake; you spend your whole life in the priesthood, and now this thing is just going right over your head like a frisbee on a windy day.

 

ZECHARIAH

It's pretty impressive, really. You manage to get in here without being seen, you know some details about my life...but you're busted. You're a priest from one of the other provinces, and you're pouting because I was chosen to come in here and offer the prayer. Fine. You want to throw my childlessness in my face, don't do it in here. Show some respect for the temple. We'll take it outside. Mano a mano. And I feel constrained to point out (points at GABRIEL); you're not a very big 'mano'.

 

GABRIEL

Don't point your finger at me – it's disrespectful.

 

ZECHARIAH

I'll point my finger -

 

ZECHARIAH struggles, but can't raise his arm. It's the opposite arm from the one with the burned hand.

 

ZECHARIAH

I'll point my finger...

 

GABRIEL

Having a little trouble, boondock-boy?

 

ZECHARIAH

(looking at his arm)

What's goin' on here?

 

GABRIEL

A lot more trouble than I had with another fella, name of Daniel. Maybe you've heard of him?

 

ZECHARIAH

(eyes widening in comprehension)

You...you're saying you're....Gabriel?

 

GABRIEL walks slowly away from the altar, toward ZECHARIAH.

 

          GABRIEL

Yep.

 

Never taking his eyes off GABRIEL, ZECHARIAH circles wide to keep away from GABRIEL. He ends up in standing with his back to the altar. GABRIEL turns with him until they've essentially traded places.

 

ZECHARIAH

But...you can't...you couldn't...what was your message again?

 

GABRIEL

Don't worry. I'll see that you dream it about sixty times. Basically, you and Elizabeth are going to have a son, and he'll be great in the sight of the Lord.

 

ZECHARIAH

I...I'm having trouble believing this.

 

GABRIEL

I get that a lot. You remember the prophecy in Malachi? It's one of your favorites.

 

ZECHARIAH

(thinking, then reciting slowly from memory)

“...I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and terrible day of the Lord comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers...”

 

GABRIEL

Pretty good for big, backward, boondock-boy Zechariah.

 

ZECHARIAH

That prophecy is about...about my son?

 

GABRIEL

 

It is, Zechariah. Your prayer has been heard.

 

ZECHARIAH

Okay, but wait a minute...how's that going to work?

 

GABRIEL

 

Like it always does. What do you mean? You and your wife are going to have a son. It happens every day.

 

ZECHARIAH

(pacing)

 

I mean, my wife Elizabeth, she's...she's pretty old, you know what I mean? (with a little laugh) And I am too, for that matter.

 

ZECHARIAH stops pacing and looks directly at GABRIEL.

 

               ZECHARIAH

Not that I'm admitting anything.

 

GABRIEL rolls his eyes.

 

                            ZECHARIAH

                    I mean, I keep in pretty good shape...

 

                            GABRIEL

(stepping slowly toward ZECHARIAH and emphasizing words with his finger)

You really beat all, you know that? I come all the way here, from the presence of God – which is, by the way, a very pleasant place to be – to give you some good news, and all I get from you is pointing fingers and falling down and stupid questions. You think it's gonna be too hard for God to give you a baby? Like maybe he'll have to lie down afterwards from the effort?

 

As GABRIEL approaches, ZECHARIAH climbs backward up and over the altar without ever turning his back on GABRIEL, being careful not to touch the incense. This is difficult to do because he still can't use one of his arms, and he loses his hat in the process. He delivers the next lines while climbing over the altar.

 

ZECHARIAH

Hey...you're not gonna tell God about me dropping the incense, are you? I mean...you have a way of scarin' a guy...

 

GABRIEL throws his arms up in the air and moves menacingly toward ZECHARIAH, who sinks down until only this head is showing above the altar.

 

GABRIEL

(ranting)

Right. I'll just HIDE this little conversation from God! I'll go back and tell Him, “Ol' boondock Zechariah's just a peach of a guy. He was right on board from the start.” The Lord won't notice I lied – things go right over HIS head all the time. Sheesh. How in the world did you make it out of Junior High?

 

 

ZECHARIAH

I was good at sports.

 

GABRIEL

(straightening his robe)

Well, Sport, it's time for me to go. You got it straight, now? You and Elizabeth will have a son, and you'll call him John.

 

ZECHARIAH

I think I've got it.

 

GABRIEL

(pointing)

You lost your hat again.

 

ZECHARIAH reaches down with the arm that GABRIEL immobilized, puts his hat on, then stands up, stretching his formerly useless arm out straight. He flexes his it in amazement.

 

ZECHARIAH

I can move my arm again!

 

ZECHARIAH rubs his arm with the other hand, then looks at the hand in amazement.

 

ZECHARIAH

And my hand...it's...it's not burned. I mean, it was burned...I burned it on the incense, but now it's...it's okay.

 

GABRIEL takes his place at the end of the altar, where he first appeared, facing the way he was when he came in, toward the entrance to the room. He notices a piece of lint on his robe, and flicks it off.

 

GABRIEL

For reasons that utterly escape me, Zechariah, God is very fond of you. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

 

ZECHARIAH

(still crouched behind the altar)

That 'mysterious ways' quotation...that's not in the Bible, you know. It's just something people say.

 

GABRIEL

I can't have a good thought of my own once in a while?

 

ZECHARIAH

I'm just saying.

 

As he delivers his next lines, GABRIEL gradually fades from view.

 

GABRIEL

Well, say it to somebody else – I'm outta here. Don't forget what I told you, and don't make me come back here again. You wouldn't want that.

 

GABRIEL fades completely and is gone.

ZECHARIAH stands, staring at the spot where GABRIEL stood, then puts one hand to his forehead and starts to laugh, walking around to the front of the altar.

 

ZECHARIAH

Whoa. WHOA! Nobody is going to believe this! The angel Gabriel came and talked to me! Right here!...he stood right there (pointing) and told me I'm going to have a son. A son that was prophesied about! Oh oh-oh-oh-oh....I gotta tell Elizabeth! I gotta tell everybody! Whatta story! Gabriel!

 

ZECHARIAH pushes his chest out a little, hooks his thumbs under his arms, and walks to the entrance, then stops, his back to the spot GABRIEL last stood.

 

ZECHARIAH

Gabriel, who wasn't so scary after all. Gabriel, Mr. 'I hang around with God' angel big shot. (He imitates GABRIEL'S voice) “Don't make me come back here. You wouldn't want that.”

 

As ZECHARIAH speaks, GABRIEL gradually rematerializes, staring at ZECHARIAH'S back, with his eyebrows arched. As ZECHARIAH finishes speaking, he feels GABRIEL'S eyes, and turns around slowly to face him.

 

GABRIEL

You know.....that's it. You have quite the little gift of gab, don't you? Tell you what; let's just see how you do without it for a while. Until the baby is born, you will not be able to speak.

 

ZECHARIAH opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He puts one hand to his throat. He opens and closes his mouth, but to no avail. He takes a step toward GABRIEL, his hands extended imploringly, trying to say something.

GABRIEL

Have a nice time chiseling your story into a rock.

 

GABRIEL disappears again.

ZECHARIAH walks over to the altar, stopping short of it by a few feet. Tentatively he bends at the waste and reaches his hand out to the spot GABRIEL last occupied. He waves his hand around in the air where GABRIEL stood. He almost loses his balance, and reaches out to the altar to steady himself. His hand touches the incense and he jumps back, holding his newly re-burned hand. He turns toward the camera and exaggeratedly mouths the word 'OW!')

Fade to black.